On the occasion of Women’s day, I thought of writing something about women. I thought it would be simple to write about women but when I began writing, I realized this the most beautiful, creative yet complex creation of God. I realized I can keep on and on writing about this beautiful wonder …
The journey that begins from a daughter to a sister to a friend to a wife to a daughter-in-law to a mother, mother-in-law and finally to a grand mother is truly a colorful journey within itself, bearing various different beautiful shades of relationships.
A daughter, the most pampered and bubbly form of her, full of giggles, long stories, chatter boxes, with rainbow colours, with dreams and desires flying high, tantrums, being the ‘Jaan’ of the entire family, being naughty, being playful, full of fun, with all the fights, love, care & secrets shared with siblings, with the kattis and butties, sleeping besides the dolls, before realising how time flies, grows up into a teenager.
Being a teenager, from cuteness to gorgeous, from innocence to intellect, from bubbly to quiet responsible person, from sleepovers to movies and shopping, from being fashionista to styling, adding new stories to stride, shaping up her personality, even before she realizes she grows beyond, entering another new phase of being a bride.
Newly wed Bride: Beginning with friendship to courtship leading to being married, from roses are red and violets are blue, getting into a new relationship, with everything new, including giving up the maiden name and accepting a new last name, which she has been using since the day she was born. All this becomes the beginning of coping up with the newbies, roles and responsibilities. Initially, digesting words like Bahurani, Bhabi, Devrani, Jethani, Chachi, Mami, etc from a straight & simple Didi becomes difficult, giving a sudden feeling of grown up responsible adult. She gradually starts enjoying the respect and position that comes with these words.
While she is struggling with all the new relations to adjust in the new family, there are two more women, who are on the similar page of struggle like her. Though, at a later age, where they are not strong enough physically, mentally and emotionally as they used to be 25/30 years back .
Mother and Mother-in-law: Today, my angel is going to depart from me. She has found her Mr. Special. Will he and his family treat my angel well? Will she be able to manage herself amongst the new people, new habits, new place, new lifestyle? How am I going to stay far from her?
My lil boy, my anchor of life, is leading a new path today. He has found the girl of his dreams. How am I going to share him with her? I will have to go a step forward to help her to gel up with our family. Will she be my friend? Will she be like my daughter? Will she follow the household customs and rituals, will she treat us like her parents?
The Girl Gang: The most integral part of any female’s life. Irrespective, of the age, this is must have relation that every female needs. Though, we are not related by blood to anyone in the gang but still we gel well, mingle with them, have fun with them, share our problems with them, share laughters and sorrows, take their advises too. Infact, it is said however well settled/ unsettled you are in your family & profession, you must have girl friends – school friends, college friends, colony friends, train friends, bus friends, kitty friends, all of them play a very crucial role in our lives.
Grand mother : The most loving and caring relation between the senior most lady in the family and the youngest member of the family. This is the most soft, spongy and juicy relation ever. This is like a more than expected bonus received. Now, niether is she strict nor does she try to imply her thoughts on anyone. Here she means only living life on a lighter note, as light as feather – she does not advise, niether does she take any. She has come a long way through. She only knows to bless and pray for well being of her offspring.
We extremely talented women of this world forget that at every aspect of our life we have different roles and responsibilities to play : A role of daughter changes over night when she becomes daughter-in-law. An extremely soft, sensitive girl is suddenly expected to be a strong, responsible women overnight, in a new environment, with new set of parents, with new set of siblings only tagged with a loud scary word “In-laws”.
On one hand, the poor girl who is struggling to cope with all newbies gets so engrossed in sorting her life for herself that she forgets to notice that her mother in law is also struggling to get herself adjusted with new member of the family who is not her blood relation either but she will have to share the most dearest piece of her heart – Her Beloved Son and her most valuable territory with her – The Kitchen.
Most of the frictions that occur in families are between women. All of us have had and will have our own set of struggles while fulfilling our various roles and responsibilities as a woman. If one woman empowers and encourages another woman, we may not need crèche and old age homes and this world can become a better place to live in.
Happy Women’s Day!!